The Broken Road
by UnspokenLoves
Summary: When a CSI is killed in a car accident how will the rest of the team cope. GSR and Character Death.
1. The Accident

**Disclaimer:** I don't own them.

**A/N: **Thanks to my muses **Grits** and **FishyFries** that helped me along the way in for this chapter. Big thanks to **Izzy** for Betaing. Thanks you to the one in **yahoo group** for helping with the thing I needed help with. And thanks to those who have already read. Love you all.

**Chapter One: The Accident**

It seemed like a dream well in this case a nightmare. Everything happened so fast, yet it all moved in slow motion. One minute they were laughing as she pulled away from the stoplight. Next, there was a sudden flash and the sound of metal to metal, then darkness.

Sara awoke to the noise of people shouting. She tried to focus on the shapes that moved around her. She couldn't concentrate; her head was throbbing too hard. She managed to turn her head and look at her passenger. When she noticed he was gone she started to panic. "Greg?" Sara tried to move, to get up. She was pinned down. "Greg? Greg?" Sara started to cry, she was so confused. She didn't know where she was or what had happened. Most of all she couldn't understand why Greg wasn't there. Maybe she remembered wrong. Maybe she was alone, wherever she was.

"Sara calm down." Sara felt a hand touch her head. "Sara, my name is Janice. I'm a paramedic you've been in an accident. We are getting you out now; but you need to stay still. Now listen, I'm going to slide this neck brace on you." Janice said in a calming voice. Janice kept hearing Sara mumbling something about Greg. "He's already out sweetheart. Sara it is going to be noisy for a few minutes. They're going to let me stay right here." Janice pulled the protective blanket over Sara and one over herself. "Sara you ready?"

A tear slid down Sara's cheek and she liked her lips. "Yes." The noise was unbearable and she felt as she was being cut in half. She was getting so cold. "Cold… I'm cold." Her words were just above a whisper.

As the rescue workers fought hard to free Sara, two vehicles pulled up. The three people walked up and stood behind Jim Brass who was engulfed in the horror that lay before him. "Hey Jim what do we…" Ecklie trailed off, as he took noticed of the scene. Five bodies lay on the ground in sheets, the road covered in blood, and rescue workers working on cutting someone out of the mangled vehicle. "How many?" Ecklie was speechless for the first time in his life. In all his time as a CSI, he had never felt like it was personal to him. And he didn't understand why this time.

Brass took a deep breath. "Five dead, all teenagers. Witnesses said they were speeding without their headlights on and ran the red light. There was nothing she could do to stop it." Tears started to pour from his eyes.

"Who is she? Jim what aren't you telling us?" Catherine started to get very concerned and a cold chill ran down her spine.

Brass wiped his eyes and turned to the three. His eyes locked on Grissom's. He opened his mouth to speak but no words came out. He gave Grissom a sympathetic look.

At that moment, Grissom's heart sank to the pit of his stomach. He shook his head, "No. Jim, you're wrong." He was tunneled vision on the car where rescue workers were. 'A nightmare, this is what it is. Everything is fine I'll wake up and she will be in my arms sleeping. I'm not losing her, not this way. Damn it Gil; wake up so you can kiss her. Wake up!' He screamed to himself. But he wasn't waking up. This was real, too real. He couldn't wrap his mind around the fact he may have just lost Sara, his Sara. The woman who makes him smile, the same woman who amazes him everyday. How could he just lose that in one moment, one instant? Gone, just gone forever.

Brass let the tears fall again. He didn't care if he thought of it as weak. Sara was like his daughter and he loved her like his own. "They freed Greg not to long ago. He's in very bad shape. I don't think they are giving him much hope to live. They are still trying to get to Sara. They don't know how bad she is hurt. All they knew was Greg was hurt pretty badly. They're still trying to free Sara. Gil… I…" He couldn't finish.

Grissom dropped his case and started to run toward the accident. "Sara!" His feet felt like they were made out of lead. All he knew was that he had to get to her. He just wanted to hold her in his arms. "Sara!" Before he could reach the car, a man jumped into his way. "Get out of my way! I need to get to her." Grissom was in full panic mode as he tried to get to her, but couldn't.

"Sir… Sir. We are doing everything we can right now. Please go back. You can't help her now." The man could see the pain in his eyes. "Look I understand how you feel but…"

"She's free! Get me that backboard." Janice shouted. "Sara no, no, no you stay with me." She looked around at all the people rushing to help her. She helped to keep Sara calm as they pulled her free and placed her on the gurney. "Damn it Sara, don't do this." She could tell Sara was starting to go into shock.

Grissom saw them pull Sara out and place her on the gurney. While the man holding him back was distracted, Grissom shoved him away and took off toward Sara. "Sara, honey." He caressed her hair.

"You shouldn't be here sir. We need to get her to the hospital now." Janice pushed Grissom back and took Sara to the ambulance. Janice could see Sara starting to get agitated. "Hey! Are you coming?" She called from the ambulance.

The waiting room at the hospital was filled with members of the crime lab and police department. They were waiting for word on Sara and Greg. "Gil, will you sit down please? They will both be fine. They are strong and they are fighters."

Everyone looked up when a doctor walked in. "Is there a Gil Grissom here?" Grissom walked up to the doctor. "I'm Doctor Zooker; I was the doctor who worked on Sara Sidle tonight." Dr. Zooker looked around the room. "Would you like to go to my office?"

"No." Grissom looked at the group behind him. "We're all her family." Grissom was so scared about what he was going to hear.

"Alright then." Dr. Zooker looked at his notes and then looked back at Grissom. "She has a concussion and needed six stitches to the cut on her forehead. Her right wrist is broken, she has several bruised ribs, she needed stitches to a cut on her left leg, and her left ankle was dislocated and broken in two places. Other than that, she's okay. She is resting right now and I would like her to stay for a few days. They will be moving her to her own room soon. When she gets settled in, I'll have a nurse show you there. Do you have any questions?"

Sara started to wake up. She moved her head slowly as she tried to get her eyes to focus. She felt someone sit on the bed and take her hand. "Sara… honey?" She felt them touch her head. "Hey come on Sara. Look at me." Grissom smiled down at Sara when her eyes finally fell on his.

"Hi." Sara closed her eyes and then opened them again. "Where am I?"

"You're in the hospital, Sara." Grissom rubbed Sara's hand. "Do you… remember what happened?" He watched she turned even more paler than she was already.

"There was a flash. I think someone hit us." Her mind started to drift. "Greg… Gris… how's Greg? Where is he? I need to find him." She went to get up.

"Hey… hey now, stop." He pushed her back. "No, Sara. Baby, I'm sorry." He didn't know how to tell her about Greg. "You need to rest."

"Grissom what is it? What is wrong with Greg?" Her body shook as she waited for the answers she needed.

"Honey…" He knew he had to tell her. "Sara… Greg… he didn't make it." He leaned down and kissed her cheek. Then he leaned his forehead against hers, being careful of her bandage. "I'm so sorry, Sara. We lost him about a half hour ago." He lifted his head up and looked in her eyes.

"Grissom… I-" She started to think but she couldn't get her thoughts straight. "I'm… tired… okay?" She turned her head away from him and closed her eyes. As she drifted off to sleep she muttered, "All my fault."

"No, Sara, not your fault." He sat there, her hand in his and the other caressing her hair. Tears fell from his eyes as he watched her sleep. He didn't know if she was going to be strong enough to get through Greg's funeral.


	2. Chapter 2: The Aftermath

Disclaimer: Nope, still don't own them.

A/N: Thanks to **Cybrokat** for the Beta. Thanks to the **"Stick Crew"** for letting me bounce ideas off of them. And thanks to **FishTank-36**,** Ambient Flames**,** ToMyGrave, Butterfly-of-Darkness**,** csishewolf**,** GracefulBee**,** Jenn Sidle**,** gabesaunt, LostNovember**,** Sassy**,** Jill Hamilton**,** Grits**,** christingirl177**,and **willowaus **for reviewing last chapter. All the holes will be filled in as the story moves on.

**Chapter Two: The Aftermath **

Sara sat sideways on Grissom's couch, her feet resting in Grissom's lap. "What?" Sara asked without looking up from her Forensic Journal. Grissom was just looking at her, watching her. He had been doing that ever since Sara woke up in the hospital and she just didn't understand why.

"Just thinking. About you." Grissom rubbed Sara's leg. "Sara, honey, you know you can talk to me about anything." Grissom lifted Sara's legs and scooted closer to Sara. "Sara, look, when you lose someone close to you…"

"Stop! Just stop it okay." Sara was just so tired of people telling how she should feel. "When you kill your best friend, then you can tell me how I should feel. Until then, just stay out of it." Sara moved her feet off of Grissom's lap. She saw Grissom getting ready to say something. "I'm tired, I think I'll go lay down." Sara bent down and grabbed her crutches and went to stand up. "I can do it myself." Sara pushed Grissom's arm away, got up and went to the bedroom.

Grissom climbed in bed facing Sara. "Hey." Grissom touched Sara's face. "I know you are awake. Please Sara, just talk to me." Grissom didn't know what to do. If Sara would just cry or get mad or yell and scream, he could handle that. But this complete shut down just pained him. He didn't know how to help her. And the feeling of helplessness hurt; because he could only imagine what Sara was feeling. So lost and hurt, scared to open up to anyone. He leaned in and kissed her cheek and as he pulled back Sara's eyes opened. "Sara, baby." Grissom looked in Sara's eyes. "Do you want me to leave you alone so you can sleep?"

"No, can you..." Sara started to suck on her bottom lip. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. "Will you hold me for…" Sara didn't need to finish what she was going to say. "Thank you." Sara snuggled deeper into Grissom's neck. "This keeps the nightmares away." Sara pulled away a bit and looked Grissom in the eyes. "I'm sorry I snapped at you." Sara closed her eyes as Grissom ran his thumb down her cheek. Sara pulled Grissom into a kiss. Sara slid herself under Grissom as their kiss intensified. "Gil please, make love to me."

Grissom pulled away from Sara. "Sara honey, I don't think you are ready for that. And I don't want to take advantage of you." Grissom grabbed Sara's hand and kissed the back of it.

"You blame me too don't you? Just like the others do." Sara looked in Grissom's eyes. "I know what Lady Macbeth was feeling in Macbeth." Sara looked down. "I can't get Greg's blood off me."

Grissom didn't think his heart could break anymore until her heard Sara ask him if he blamed her for Greg's death. "Sara, I could never blame you." Grissom laid on his back pulling Sara so her head rested on his shoulder. "The others don't blame you either." Grissom hoped he was right anyway. He didn't understand how they could blame her. They knew it was the other driver who was at fault. "Sara, what makes you think they blame you?"

"Warrick, Nick, and Catherine just said something that's all." Sara snuggled into Grissom and started to drift off to sleep. "Hold me, please Gris. Just hold me." She held tight onto Grissom as she feel asleep.

Sara watched Grissom put his tie on. Today was the day they were saying goodbye to Greg. Her eyes moved to the mirror. She just sat and stared at her reflection. Her long black dress almost covered her cast that was on her leg. She picked up the black shawl and slipped it on.

Grissom sat on the bed next to her and held her hand. "You can do this." He kissed the side of her head. He stood up and put on his jacket and a piece of paper fell from his jacket. He picked it up and looked at it, then tucked it into his jacket. "My eulogy." He looked over at Sara who still had her head hung. He went and knelt down in front of her. "Sara, are you sure you don't want to speak?" He reached out and tucked a strain of hair behind her ear. "Sara?" He handed her the crutches. "It's time to go honey." He wrapped his arms around Sara.

When Sara got to the kitchen she stopped. "I think…" She just made it to the sink when she got sick. Grissom walked over to her and held her hair back. She reached for the towel, but Grissom had already grabbed it and wiped her mouth. "Thanks." She looked at him and nodded her head. "We'll be late." She watched the road as they drove to their destination. "How's his mom holding up?" She closed her eyes as they neared the intersection where it happened. She felt his hand touch hers and she opened her eyes and they were past it. "Is she doing okay?" She turned to him and he shook his head. "Oh." She turned back to the road. When they pulled up to the church she saw the lot full of cars. "He touched a lot of people's lives, didn't he?" She turned to him and closed her eyes as she shook her head. "I'm so sorry."

Grissom pulled Sara into his arms. "Stop saying you are sorry. Sara, please. It wasn't your fault. You have to stop blaming yourself." He didn't know how much more his heart could take. He just wanted Sara to cry. He knew that if she would she would feel so much better. "Hey come on," he said as he patted her back. "Let's go in." He got out and went and helped Sara out.

"Gil, Sara." Ecklie said as he and Brass walked up to them. "Gil do you have a minute?" He looked and Brass and then to Sara. "Jim will help Sara inside." He watched and Brass led Sara away. He then turned back to Grissom. "How is she doing?"

Grissom shook his head, "I don't know Conrad." He watched Sara disappear into the church. "She's lost. She blames herself. She can't seem to cry. She's wont allow herself to feel anything but shame and guilt." He looked at Ecklie, "She needs all of our support. But right now I need to be in there with her."

Brass helped Sara to the front of the church where the rest of the crime lab was. Brass pointed to the casket where a few crying people were standing "Do you want to go up?" He watched her shake her head no. "Okay." Brass watched as Sara just sat down and put her hands in her lap. "I'm going up, I'll be right back." He walked up smiled sadly down at Greg's body then went and paid his respects to Greg's family.

Grissom came and went to Sara. "Let's go over and pay our respects. I won't make you go to the casket, but come to see his parents." He helped Sara to her up and walked with her to Greg's parents. "Mr. and Mrs. Sanders, I'm Gil Grissom, we met earlier. And this is Sara Sidle." To her surprise, both of his parents engulfed Sara into their arms.

Sara sat in between Grissom and Brass as the last few people took their seats. Sara placed her head against Grissom's. She took a deep breath as the preacher stood up and opened his bible. As the preacher began to speak she squeezed Grissom's hand and one tear drop fell onto her hand.


	3. Chapter 3: Goodbyes and Memories

Disclaimer: Still do not own them

A/N: Thanks to Cyborkat for the beta. And thanks to Detective Fait Bascorelli, Fishytank, GracefulBee, Gabsaunt, forinicGirl, Jenn Sidle, ToMyGrave, csishewolf, AmbientFlames, LostNovember,Christiangirl177, Bernadette Elander, Sassy, and ChertheRhythms, (did I miss anyone?) for the reviews.

**Chapter Three: Goodbyes and Memories**

Grissom sat next to Sara holding her hand as he wiped away his tears with his free one. As he listened to the sobs that surrounded him he thought back to moment learned Greg had passed. He was heading back to waiting room after checking on Sara, and he saw a doctor looking defeated walking toward him. Suddenly the last few feet to the waiting room seemed like a blur. He and the doctor got to door at the same time. Grissom knew for sure at that second. Greg was gone, and Sara was left to carry the burden. He allowed the doctor to enter the room first. The doctor's words were hollow, empty in sound to him. Grissom let a few tears fall as the doctor left the room. Grissom never saw so much pain in so many people's eyes. So he did the only thing he felt he could do, he turned back around and walked away. When he reentered Sara's room he thanked God that he did not lose her as well.

Grissom closed his eyes tight. When he opened them again he was back in the church. As another tear drop ran down his cheek he brought Sara's hand up to his lips and kissed it. Her hand had the slight taste of salt. "Tears," he thought, "not hers, but mine." He looked at her from the corner of his eyes. Her eyes were still empty, lost, and dry. He didn't know if forcing her to come and say goodbye was helping her at all. He slipped his hand from hers and ran it down the back of her head coming to rest on her shoulder.

As Warrick made his way to the podium to give his eulogy, his mind drifted to when they were told Greg had died. The words seemed like they had floated around him, not truly comprehending it at that moment. All he could feel was anger; anger toward the kids for driving hyped on drugs and alcohol. Angry at them for thinking it was fun driving fast and without the headlights on. Angry at their parents for letting them go to that party. He was angry at Greg for not surviving; and God help him he was angry at Sara for surviving. He took a piece of paper out of his jacket and looked around the crowed church. "Greg," he smirked. "How can one describe Greg? He was always doing something crazy." He took a moment to regain his composure. "One time a few of us had this insane bet." He rubbed his forehead as he thought about the bet. "Greg had set the rules. The winner got to pick any event they would like to do; and the loser had to wear a carrot costume at the event. Greg ended up wearing that thing all day at the skating rink. He fell down so many times all the girls there were helping him…" He had to stop, for him the good memories were hard to think of. He wished he savored them more, if he only knew then that Greg would've been gone so soon, he wouldn't have taken their friendship for granted. Never again would he hear one of Greg's wacky comments, or seeing him do something so off the wall one just had to laugh. No, never again. He turned to Greg's casket. "Goodbye Greg, it's been real."

Warrick left the podium and looked over at Sara. Their eyes met only for a second, and that's all he needed. He could see the look in her eyes. He knew that being angry at Sara was not helping him, and was pushing Sara deeper into darkness. He decided that he would apologize, the first chance he got. As he sat next to Catherine and Nick he let his tears fall. For the fist time it hit him, he could have lost two of his friends. "If Sara was gone too, I…damn, why did I take my anger out on her?" He dried his eyes and put is arm around Catherine.

As Ecklie sat behind Grissom and Sara the words "he didn't make it" kept replaying in his mind. When he was told he couldn't believe it. This had to be the hardest thing he would have to do, to let the rest of the lab know. But first there was something else he needed to do. He retrieved Greg's file and dialed a number. The man that answered had been woken up by the phone call. He talked to the man, and listened as he cried. He hung the phone up after a half hour of talking to Greg's parents. Then he left his office and went room to room telling everyone to meet in the break room. The door felt like lead as he opened it revealing worried looks on everyone's face. He didn't know how to tell them. He couldn't remember what all he said. He told them about the accident and what had happened. He had let them know Sara was hurt but would pull through just fine. He could feel himself about ready to lose it. So he just blurted it out. Just told them Greg's injuries were too serious. Greg died. He was gone and now the lab had to do something they hadn't done in awhile. They had to say goodbye. Goodbye to a man they all loved in way or another. Ecklie had to leave the room. He went back to his office and he let a few tears come.

Ecklie decided he would let Sara's family know. It was the least he could do, he thought. As he was talking to the women on the other line he found some things out. The things Sara had keep secret from everyone in the lab. Sara's drive, what makes her who she is. Ecklie hung the phone up and went to grab flowers and then to visit Sara. When he walked into the room Sara was sound asleep in the bed. He had never seen her look so fragile. Sitting next to her was Grissom; he had never seen Grissom look so defeated. He sat and talked to Grissom for a few minutes. He learned that night Grissom was the only person that knew about Sara's past. He told Grissom he could have a few weeks off to take care of Sara. He left that night with the intent to turn his life around. He vowed he would try and be kinder to those around because you never know the secrets they hide. And also at any given moment they could leave this earth, gone, just gone, forever.

Catherine felt Warrick nudge her when it was her turn to give her eulogy. The room seemed to spin as she walked to the front of the church. The church walls seemed to melt away and she was back in the waiting room. Grissom had just walked in behind the doctor. She was sure the doctor was going to say Greg was alive. Greg was in bad shape but alive; anything but what came out of his mouth. She couldn't believe her ears. She didn't understand how someone like Greg could've been taken out of the world. She took the place that many had done before her. She looked at her note card. A few simple words for a friend that had left them all behind. She didn't know what these words would do. To her they just reminded her of what they will never get back, a colleague, a son, a brother, a grandson, a friend. "Greg." She started to cry a bit. "Greg always wanted to expand himself in everyway. I remember one time he referred to himself as a sponge. The he just absorbed information. Greg, you could always count on him to make you smile when you were having a bad day. His lively hood and his since of humor will be truly missed." Catherine turned to where Greg laid, "Goodbye Greg, we miss you."

Catherine walked back to her seat. She saw Sara sitting there with no emotion on her face. She couldn't believe it. She thought Sara was being heartless and cruel. She didn't understand why Sara was not showing any kind of emotion. There was just nothing. She wanted to yell at Sara then and there. Ask her why, why she wasn't crying, getting mad, something. She decided she would confront her later and went and sat back next to Warrick and Lindsey.

Brass was sitting with one of his fingers touching Sara's pinky that stuck out from her cast. The memory of when Greg died played out in his mind. He saw the look on Grissom's face as he walked in behind the doctor. He knew something was wrong, just by the look on Grissom's face. He started to feel sick and his head was spinning around. When the doctor said they did all they could, but they were unsuccessful, it felt like someone had hit him in the stomach. He sat slowly back into his seat as he thought about the life Greg had left behind. He still could not understand why so many young lives had to be taken away. He could always count on Greg to make him smile on bad days. He remembered how full of life he was, never letting anything stop him or keep him down. He watched everyone around him fall apart. And he watched Grissom just turn around and walk away from it all. Once he caught his breath he walked after Grissom, once he found him he said he would call Ecklie. So he went outside and made the phone call. The words were too real for him. Almost like Greg's death hadn't been real until that moment.

Brass turned his head and looked at Sara and Grissom. It scared him to think about what might have happened if they lost Sara as well. Grissom was just able to cope with Greg's death and Sara's injuries. He remembered the look in Grissom's eyes when they knew who was hurt. That look would always haunt him. And he wished it would go away. He wanted it to go away. One should never have to tell a good friend that the person they love is hurt and might die.

Nick's legs shook under him as he stood giving his eulogy. "Greg was the type of guy you would love to have as a friend. He was there when you needed him the most. He was never afraid to stick his neck out for a friend, even if he himself got into trouble." His voice was soft and shaky. He never had a problem crying in front of other. And as he continued to speak about Greg his mind kept hitting the instant replay on the night Greg died. He had just finished interviewing a suspect when he got the call. He got in his car and drove to the hospital. "Greg and Sara were hurt in a car accident" ran in his head all the way there. Nobody knew yet how they were, he thought he would walk in and they both would be laughing. When he got to the waiting room the look on everyone's face told a different story. After they were told Sara would be fine, he thought Greg would be to. Nothing could prepare him for what happened. "Gone, Greg was gone." Those words would forever linger in his head. A good friend, gone in one moment, forever gone. He finished his eulogy and turned to Greg, "You were a great friend, Greg. We will miss you man."

Nick walked away and went to sit down. He, like Catherine, just wanted to yell at Sara. He wanted to know why, she of all people should be crying over Greg. "Well, some kind of emotion anyway," he thought. He just didn't get it. Sara was one of his good friends as well and he was truly glad he didn't lose her. He just had so many whys, so many questions. He just wanted to see something from Sara, anything but this damn emptiness. Just anything, anything please. So he decided he would have a talk with her later.

A few stories, some laughter, and many tears later it was time, time for them all to give their last goodbyes. When the casket closed, tears fell, goodbyes were whispered, and memories replayed. Nick, Warrick, Grissom, Archie, Hodges, and Bobbyl walked to the front of the church. They each took a place around the casket. Slowly they lifted it up and headed to the door. Greg's casket was loaded into the hearse. The door was shut, and his parents got into a limousine. The cars pulled away from the church. Pulled away from every memory Las Vegas had, pulled away from Vegas itself. His body was on its way back to San Francisco, back to the rest of his family and friends. They all watched as the cars vanished into the Vegas horizon. All they could do was watch and think to themselves, "Goodbye Greg, goodbye."

TBC--


	4. Chapter 4: Betrayal and Consequence

Disclaimer: I still don't own them

A/N: Thanks to my great beta, **Cybrokat**. Thanks to everyone who gave advise to me on this chapter, love you guys. And thank you **Mrs. Grissom**, **GracefulBee, love2readfanfic, Fishtank-36, ToMyGrave, Jenny7059, SmallWings, gabesaunt, Detetive Faith Boscorelli, Grits, Izzy, Banana, and Sarah**, (did I miss anyone?) for the reviews.

**Chapter Four: Betrayal and Consequence **

After the funeral everyone headed toward Catherine's house where they could unwind and have something to eat. Grissom sat on the couch next to Sara. "Sara, please eat it." Grissom begged as he placed the sandwich in her hand. "Come on, remember what the doctor said." He smiled as he watched her take a small bite. "I will be right back." He got up and kissed the top of her head.

As Warrick sat down next to Sara he noticed she took the bit of food out of her mouth. "Hey girl, you should really eat." He sighed as Sara placed the sandwich in her lap. "Sara? Hey, look at me please." He was hurt when she shook her head. "Well, Sara look, I just want to say I'm sorry for the way I have been acting." When he finally got Sara to look at him he could see the pain she was holding back. "Look I was angry at…at the situation. I didn't think you cared Greg was gone." He was left speechless as she turned her head back away from him.

"You…" Sara just wanted to get out of there. "You blame me and its okay. Really Warrick, I know if one of you were driving you would have seen it. If I would've let Greg drive…it would have been me. Everyone would have been happier if I was dead and not Greg." She needed to get away, run as fast and as far as she could. But with the shape she was in that was not going to happen. "I'm going to go outside."

Grissom and Brass watched Warrick help Sara up and out through the back. "Gil, I know you don't want to hear this, but Sara needs more help than you can give her." It upset Brass to have to say that that to Grissom; but he had to say it. He could see Sara slipping away from everything and everyone. "I know you love her, but she needs some other help. She's on the edge right now." He was stunned as Grissom pushed pass him. "Gil!" He grabbed Grissom's arm, "You need to deal with this, before it is too late."

"And what should I do, Jim? Send her away? You honestly think that will help her?" Grissom was frustrated that everyone couldn't see Sara was in pain. He could see it, why couldn't anyone else? He wasn't going to toss his feelings for her away again. "I refuse to lock her away in some hell hole because…"

"I'm not talking about locking her away." Brass interrupted. He didn't think she was that far gone. He feared she was close to it though. "She needs someone other than you to talk to. Someone, outside this whole thing. What she needs…"

"Jim, don't tell be what she needs." Grissom pushed Brass away. "Look if some of you would just stop blaming her for what happened maybe she would get better." He walked away in search for Sara.

Grissom stepped outside to see a few people crowding Sara. He could tell she was getting uncomfortable. As he got closer the hurtful words they were throwing at her, ripped his heart to shreds. 'It wasn't her fault. It wasn't!' His heart screamed. Now he knew why Sara was shut down. His eyes filled with rage as he stepped closer.

"God Sara, didn't Greg mean anything to you?" Catherine yelled at Sara while on lookers turned and, like a mob, the lab rats enclosed on her. "I didn't think your mind could be anymore clouded than before you and Grissom were together; but I was wrong, dead wrong." Her anger was in overdrive. She thought Greg meant more to Sara. Catherine didn't understand why Sara still was emotionless, even now while she yelled at her. There was still nothing. "Get it, Sara, dead. You do know it was all your fault. If you would've opened your eyes and saw that other car..." She looked over at Nick who was shaking his head at Sara, in disappointment. "How could you be so stupid? You murdered…"

"That is it!" Grissom broke up the little feeding frenzy they all had on Sara. "What is your deal Cath?" He was beyond angry about what he just heard. He didn't think there was a word in the dictionary that could describe the way he felt. "You know very damn well she is not to blame." He turned his head and saw Sara and Doc Robbins whispering. Turing back to the group he took a deep breath, "Every single one of you…" He stopped as Sara touched his shoulder and whispered in his ear. He stepped away for a moment.

"It's fine Gil." Doc said softly. "You finish up here and I will take Sara home. Anyway you will not be too far behind us anyway." He smiled at Sara. "She'll be in safe hands I promise. I'll make sure she is settled before I leave." They turned away and walked out.

"Now…" When Grissom turned back around mostly everyone had scattered, all but Catherine, Nick, Warrick, and Hodges. "Great you all ganged up on Sara but nobody can stick around to hear her side." He wanted them to all explain. To explain how they could be so cruel to Sara. They all saw the photos, how could they think for one minute Sara could have stopped it all from happening? "Explain to me." The four did not say anything. "Catherine? You seem to have a big month today care to clue me in?"

Before Catherine could comment Nick broke in. "I think everyone just needs to calm down." He stepped in between Grissom and Catherine. "We all are upset here; but yelling at each other isn't going to help. Look, we all are stressed and hurting each other will not help."

As Grissom took a deep breath to try and calm down, Warrick lost his temper. He took Nick by the collar and shoved him against the house. "What's you deal Nick? I see it, why can't you? When did we have to be either Catherine's friend or Sara's? Open your eyes Nick. Sara is our friend as well." A few people came and tried to separate him and Nick. "Damn it Nick, she turned off. How many times has she cried about things? Not this Nick. Look in her eyes, I mean really in her eyes and you can see it." He released Nick. "Be a friend Nick, the kind of friends she needs. What would you have done if she died as well?" He walked away from the gathered group, crying.

Doc pulled up to Sara's apartment building and helped Sara out of the car. As they got to the stairs, his pager went off. "DB." He looked at Sara, "I need to take this; but I will see you upstairs." He went to follow her up.

"Its fine Doc, Grissom should be here soon, thank you though." Sara walked away. When she entered her apartment she let it hit her. The rage, the hurt she was feeling was now being released. She went to the fridge and pulled out one of her beers, and she chugged it. Taking a few moments she went to her bedroom and packed a bag. She thought it was strange that Grissom had not yet arrived, so she picked up her phone and called him. "Hey, it's me. I just,...Grissom? Gris? Gil!" She was devastated when the phone went dead. She sat down on the bed. Next to the bed there was a framed photo. It was of all of them, taken the night Greg passed. The night he was no longer the crazy DNA guy, but a CSI. She slowly picked it up and ran her finger down Greg's face. She put it down and went to look through her photo albums. As she flipped through them Greg's memory started to become overwhelming, and she started to pull photos out and rip them up. She looked at the clock and it was getting late. She had now broken, she couldn't take it anymore. So she did the only thing she thought would stop all the pain. She went over and opened her purse that lay on the counter. She took out her pain killers and took a handful out and put them down. She made her way to the bathroom cabinet where she knew she still had a few sleeping pills. After finding them, she went back and placed a couple pills with her pain medication. She grabbed a two more beers out of her fridge and chugged them down along with the pills. She threw the beer and pill bottles away and went to the bedroom to lie down and wait.

Nick stood outside Sara's apartment contemplating on what he could say to her to make her forgive him for being so uncaring. After Warrick had yelled at him he began to think about it. He wished Warrick had hit him. He didn't know how he could've been so mean to Sara. He knew she was not to blame. If he would have lost her along with Greg that night he would have been lost, just as Sara was now. He couldn't imagine what Sara was feeling. He knocked on her door. To his surprise to door opened slightly. "Sara…It's Nick." He opened the door slowly. He could see the shredded remains of the photos. He bent down and picked one up. "Sara, are you here?" He looked at the photo in his hand. "Oh Sara, I should've known." He looked toward her bedroom. Standing up, he walked toward it. "Sara?" He stepped in the doorway and through the pale light that filled her room, he saw her on the bed. "Sara, are you awake?" When he got no answer, he went over and covered her up and walked out of the apartment. He closed the door and pulled his keys out. He found her apartment key and put it in the door. As he turned the key his phone rang. He told Grissom that Sara was at her place asleep. He ended the call and pulled the key from the door. Nick then turned and started to walk away.


	5. Chapter 5: Flashbacks and Sara

Disclaimer: You guessed it I don't own them anymore.

Spoilers: Committed

A/N: Remember this what you think is the end my not be. Thanks to **Cybrokat** for her beta. Thanks to **Dana** and** Kim** for the advice. And of course thanks to my reviewers of last chapter, **Shamlimarfox2**,** Sassy**,** Almeida'sAngel24**,** gabesaunt**,** Butterfly-of-Darkness**,** csishewolf**,** Detective Faith Boscorelli**,** GracefulBee**,** vsky**,** forensicsgirl**,** ToMyGrave** (I hope I did not miss anyone.)

**Chapter Five: Flashbacks and Sara**

As Nick got a few feet away an uneasy feeling hit him. This only increased when he thought he heard someone called his name. He took a deep breath and turned around, "Sara, I'm…." He stopped short when he that there was nobody behind him. He shook his head and turned to leave once again. He had only taken a few steps when he heard it; and this time it was a little louder and his name was a little clearer. He got a bad feeling that something was not right. Walking back to Sara's door he felt as if he was being pulled. The uneasiness increased with every step. Now facing the apartment door, he froze. His hand trembled as he reached for the door knob. Turning it slowly, he swallowed hard. Suddenly he remembered he had locked the door. Releasing the door knob, as he searched for the key. When he found it, he brought the key back to the door. The color drained from his face, the door was slightly opened. He pushed the door open slowly. "Hello?" he called out as he pulled out his weapon. He took it up in a protective position; and took few steps in and heard his name called for the third time. Only this time it came from the bedroom. He took a step toward the bedroom only to be stopped by a hand clamping down on his shoulder.

"Nick, what the hell are you doing?" Brass said as he saw Nick turn to him with his weapon out. Nick told him what had happened. "Get the hell out until I clear the apartment." He pulled his gun and walked slowly to the bedroom. "Las Vegas police!" He carefully walked to the bedroom, taking in the scattered remains of the photos. Once in the bedroom he found only Sara. "It's clear Nick," he said as he motioned to Nick to come in. "I don't know what you heard but there is nobody here." He looked down at Sara and walked closer to the bed. "Was she liked this when you were in here before?" he pointed to the bed. When Nick nodded his head, Brass got a knot in his stomach. "Something is wrong. Gil said she has been having trouble sleeping." He sat next to her on the bed, "Sara…Sara come on wake…Shit. Nick call for a paramedic." He threw the blanket off of Sara and turned her so she was on her back. "Now Nick," He yelled when he saw Nick was standing in shock. "Sara, come on, wake up," He tapped her on her cheeks.

"Nick, what are you doing in Sara's bedroom?" Grissom asked as he walked in the apartment seeing Nick. He walked past Nick and saw Brass trying to wake Sara up.

"Oh dear God, no." He pushed Brass away from Sara. "Honey, come on, you need to wake up." He was trying so hard to keep from crying. Sara started to make a gagging sound and he quickly pulled her up. When Sara's body was ejecting the poisons from her body, he rubbed her back as he released a tear. Grissom could hear Nick saying something to him but he really didn't care at that moment. He could feel Sara slipping away from him, as her breathing started too slow even more. "No…no, no, no, Sara don't give in, you need to fight this. Fight for us, honey, please. You said you would not leave me." When he felt her take the last breath he saw the paramedics walk in. "My wife, she just stopped breathing." He cried as the paramedics moved in and Brass pried him away. "You have to save my wife, she's everything to me." His heart broke as Brass pulled him out of the bedroom.

In the living room, Brass and Nick were trying to reassure Grissom that Sara would make it. Grissom stood looking at the bedroom door, his mind drifted back to the day he finally knew what to do about _this_. He had just walked away from the viewing room. It had been a hard case for her and he knew it. He wanted to give her time to take it all in so he went to talk to Brass. Turing back around, he went to her and saw her wipe a tear away. He went and pulled her into a hug. From that day on they were together when they could be. He shook the memories from his mind as the paramedics rushed out of the bedroom. He heard them say they where taking her to Desert Palm, and that he couldn't go with them. "Hope you are happy Nick." He turned to face him. "I hope you and everyone else are so damn happy. You just couldn't let her be could you? Oh no, you had to get in her face. Do you see it now Nick, do see she was upset about Greg's death?" he shouted and pushed by the men. He heard Nick say something and stopped at the doorway. "Save it Nick. Just stay away from us," he screamed, and then walked out.

Warrick was helping Catherine and Lindsey clean up after the get together, when his cell phone rang. "Brown." He heard sobbing and a wave a concern hit him. "Nick, is that you…hey, calm down…what?…Why did you go to her apartment?…Okay. I will tell Cath and we well meet you there. And hey Nick, be safe on the way there alright? We have seen enough heartache to last us a lifetime…Yeah, see you there." He ended the call and went to find Catherine.

Catherine and Lindsey listened as Warrick repeated what Nick has told him. "Warrick, I don't care okay. After what she did to Greg and to the lab, why should any of us care about her?" Catherine was still angry and the way she was cleaning was a clear indication. "If you want to go fine, then go. Lindsey and I can finish here." She started to throw things around. "I still don't how you can care about her. Me, I hope she does die. That would do us all a favor." She stood at the door and watched as he walked to the car and left. She let out a sigh and closed the door to her house. She turned around and saw Lindsey standing at the by the couch with tears streaming down her face. "Linds, what's wrong baby?"

"Mom, why are you so mad at Sara?" Lindsey asked as she sat down on the couch. "I don't understand." She watched her mom sit down next to her. "Are you mad at her because you can't be mad at the kids that killed Greg?" She turned to her mother, "Sara was hurt to. It isn't her fault that she survived. Maybe that's why she just tried to kill herself. Maybe she just feels so guilty and the hurt is over taking her, she didn't know how else to stop it." She fell silent for a moment. "Mom please don't me mad at Sara anymore. The car accident wasn't her fault. I thought you knew that. And Sara is hurting. I think she just doesn't know how to deal with all her emotions. Now she might die, and you don't seem to care. It's like you wished she would've died and not Greg. Like her life is worth less than what his was." She couldn't go on any more and just broke down even more.

Catherine pulled Lindsey into a hug. "How did you get so smart, huh?" She kissed her on the top of her head. "Of course I don't want Sara to die and I'm glad she survived. I guess I have been a bit…no, I have been too hard on her." She rubbed her daughter's back. "Hey, why don't we go to the hospital and see how Sara is doing?" They both got up and left to go to the hospital.

At the hospital, Grissom sat and watched Brass, Nick and Warrick talk. He thought back to the first time he had kissed Sara. It was their third date, and he could remember the way she looked. She was waiting for him at the park. The moonlight cast a shadow on her that was irresistible. She was wearing a pair of black hip huggers and a purple spaghetti strapped top. He walked over to her and hugged her. He ran his fingers through her soft curls. He remembered giving her a white rose and the way it made her smile. He leaned in and brushed his lips against hers. The kiss was lovely, just how he imagined it.

His memory faded away as Brass sat down next to him. Brass didn't know how to ask him about what was said in Sara's bedroom. He heard the word's he asked to him and he realized he blew the secret. "When I first asked her to marry me she said no. She didn't know why we needed a piece of paper to say what we already knew. We had bought a house you see. But one day she told me she would." He didn't know what to feel anymore. "We didn't want anyone to know about the marriage, so we hid it from everyone. The night of the accident we were going to pack her apartment up. Her lease is up at the end of next month and we just wanted things to go smoothly." He looked up and saw Catherine and Lindsey enter the waiting room and walk over to him.ok

Nick and Warrick watched as Catherine sat and talked to Grissom. Her hand gestures and body language told them she was apologizing to Grissom. Nick turned back to Warrick, "I'm telling you, I know I heard someone in that apartment." He banged his fist against the back on a chair. "You know, if I didn't know better I would say the voice I heard was Greg." He saw the look that Warrick was giving him. "I know it sounds crazy, but I could feel Greg there. Maybe he was in some way."

Before Warrick could respond, the waiting room door opened and in walked a doctor. "You all Sara Sidle's family?" He asked looking around the room. They all answered in the affirmative. The doctor gave them an odd look, and then took a deep breath as they all walked up towards him. He removed his glasses looked at Grissom who was now standing in front of him.

"Please, my wife, how is she?" Grissom could feel everyone's eyes on him. He didn't care anymore what they all thought about him and Sara not just seeing each other; but being married. "Tell me she is going to live, that she is fine. Please, she just has to be."

The doctor frowned at him. His eyes closed and his head went down is a slight shake. "Maybe you should sit down, sir." He didn't think this going to be easy and when they all refused to sit; he knew they would all take what he was going to tell them hard. He looked at them all again. He licked his lips and cleared his throat. "Well..."

------TBC------

4


	6. Chapter 6: His Darling Memory

Disclaimer: Yeah I still do not own them.

A/N SMUT alert. Thanks to **Cybrokat** for the beta. Thanks for the help **Kimberly**, and** Banana Peel**. And thanks for all the lovely reviews, **Committed, gabsaunt, inlay, Jill Hamilton, laurasidle, Mrs. Grissom, Sarah, Sassy, Shalimarfox2, ToMyGrave**

**Chapter Six: His Darling Memory**

Grissom sat on the edge of the bed looking down at Sara as she slept. He gently stroked her cheek with the back of his hand. He pulled his hand away as she slowly turned her head. "Sara? Hey, come on, wake up darling." He smiled as he said the word darling. He remembered the first time he called her that, it was right before the first time he made love to her. He closed his eyes and could remember everything about that day.

_They took a walk and got caught in a storm. By the time they made it back to his townhouse, they were both soaked to the bone. The cool air in his house made her shiver. They removed their soaks and shoes at the door. Then he pulled her through his bedroom to the bathroom door, pinning her against the door as he kissed her. His fingers crept up her shirt as his kisses became stronger. "Let's get out of these wet close before we get sick," he whispered as he broke the kiss. As he opened the bathroom door it caused her to almost fall over. He laced his fingers with hers and pulled her to the shower. He carefully leaned her against the shower door and started to undo the buttons on her shirt. Her heart was racing so fast he could feel it. Sliding her shirt off he licked his lips, then stared deeply into her eyes, "God Sara, you are so beautiful. How did someone like you choose someone like me?" _

_Sara flung her arms around his neck. "Like this." Her kiss was intense. Her fingers slid down from around his neck to his chest. "Gris, I…," she pulled away slightly. She just smiled at him, the smile that made him go week in the knees. She put her hands under the bottom of his shirt, the peeled it off. _

_Grissom's hands fell lightly on her shoulders as thumbs brushed her neck. Moving his hands down her shoulders his fingers slid under her bra straps. He started to suck on her ear as he removed her bra. He let a moan when he felt her tugging at his pants. With everything in him, he pulled away from her. "Are you sure about this?" he asked as he tried to catch his breath. _

"_Yes," Sara pulled him back to her lips. She undid his pants and pushed them down along with his boxers. Taking a couple steps back she checked his now naked body. "Nice," she smiled and raised her eyebrows. _

_Grissom smiled back at her; she was so beautiful standing there. He reached his arms out and tucked his fingers underneath the top of her pants, pulling her to him so the distance is closed between them and put his forehead against hers. Undoing her pants he could feel her breathing become heavy. He slipped his hands down the sides of her pants and along her hips. When he felt what was under her pants or lack there of he chuckled. "Sara, you are naughty," he pushed her pants down and pushed her so her back was against the shower door again. He leaned into her so their lips where barely touching, "I need to get to the shower, darling."_

_Sara chewed on her bottom lip as she watched him enter the shower and turn on the hot water. She watched as the droplets of water raced down his body. Licking her lips she stepped closer to him. She took his hand as he reached out for her. Stepping into the shower with him she had to giggle. Running her fingers down Grissom's chest, she looked up into his eyes and froze._

_Tracing a line of water down her face he smiled, "What is it? Sara we don't have to do anything you're not ready for." As she slid into his arms he knew that there were no questions in her mind about them. He ran his fingers though her hair and pulled her even closer to him. Kissing her hard, his body ached for hers. Grissom moved so Sara's back was against the side of the shower. His hands went to her neck; and he slowly moved them down her to her chest. They rested there for a few seconds, then they slid down her stomach and came to rest on her hips. In one quick move he lifted Sara up. Her legs rested on his hips and he pushed himself into her._

_Feeling him inside her, Sara tightly wrapped her legs around Grissom's waist. Her hands rested on his shoulder as the steam from shower engulfed their tangled bodies. When his kisses traveled down her neck and stopped her collarbone, she threw her head back. The tingling sensation that had overtaken her body was something she hadn't felt in a long time. Even then it was nothing compared to what she was feeling now. Moving her hand up and through his hair, her body moved with his. She put her head down and started suck on the part of his neck just under his ear lobe. Sara's body started to tense up and she was on the edge. "Gil, lets go to the bed please," her voice was short and scattered. _

_Grissom pushed a stray strain of hair from her face as he let her slide off him. He turned off the water and pulled Sara out of the shower. Wrapping her in his arms as he started kissing her and easing her back into his bedroom and to his bed. Lifting her up, he gently laid her on the bed. Carefully lying on top of her he slid back into her. Grissom put his arms under Sara's arms and clamped his hands down on her shoulders. He started to move his hips at an increased speed and he felt Sara's muscles tighten. His moans drowned out hers until they both released simultaneously. Trying to catch his breath, he softly kissed he several times. The kisses were only cut short because the bedroom door was pushed open._

Grissom opened his eyes, shoving the memory out of his mind. "Sara, please, you need to wake up," he pleaded with her. When her eyes fluttered open it was all he could do to not breakdown. "Hey honey," he lent down and kissed her on the cheek. "I need to go let the doctor know you are awake." He squeezed her hands and stood up. Reluctantly, he walked to the door. He stopped when he heard Sara say something. "What was that?" he spun around and walked to the bed. "Sara, please talk to me," sitting back down he took touched her cheek.

"You hung up on me." Licking her lips, she looked at Grissom with such sadness in her eyes. "I thought maybe you were angry, and you didn't want to be with me any longer. If you don't want, and you're only here because you think you should…I'll understand if you want to leave me," she said as she turned her gaze way from Grissom's.

"Sara honey…," turning Sara's head back towards his, Grissom sighed. "Honey, I want to be with you always. There is no way I will give up on you or turn my back on you; I promised you that, and I will forever promise you that." Softly kissing her lips he started to tear up. "Wait…I never hung up on you. I…oh, no honey, I was in a bad area and my cell cut out on me. Sara, I would never hang up on you intentionally." Playing with her hair, Grissom smiled when Sara wiped his tears away. "You need to give me your word Sara. I need you to tell me that you won't do this again. If I were to lose you…," pulling her up into a hug, he kissed her under her ear.

"I promise, okay?" Hugging him back, she felt bad she had hurt him. In all honesty she felt she would make him happy. It was a stupid mistake and she knew that; but she was hurting so bad she didn't know how else to release it. "I'm sorry, can we go home now? Gris I want to go home." She drew away when she heard someone say her name. Lying back down as a doctor came closer to her, she smiled up to Grissom.

They all talked for a few minutes about how Sara was feeling and he gave her a once over. After he left, Sara told Grissom to go home and take a shower and grab something to eat. He put up a good debate but in the end was defeated. He quickly kissed her then left.

In the hall the doctor stopped Grissom. "Mr. Grissom, you do realize she needs a psych exam before we even think about releasing her. I've seen this kind of thing a lot. A person hiding from the truth that their spouse needs help, more help than they can provide," the doctor was calm but abrupt.

"I will not have her locked away somewhere because she is having a hard time with her friend's death. She has been through so much already. I can't and I won't let her be put away," Grissom challenged the doctor.

"I'm afraid it isn't up to you anymore. You can talk to they psychologist when she is done evaluating your wife. Now if you excuse me I need to get on with my rounds," walking past Grissom the doctor left the ward.

A half hour after Grissom left, a woman stood in the hall and was looking through window watching Sara. She took a couple notes and walked into Sara's room.

TBC


	7. Chapter 7: Evaluation

Disclaimer: I wished I could own them, but sadly I don't.

A/N: Thanks to **Cybrokat** for my beta. And for the lovely reviews a big thanks to, **Mayrose DeGroot, Sassy, Detective Faith Boscorelli, ToMyGrave, Adenara Yatman, gabesaunt, forensicsgirl, Grits, Dana, Sarah and LN.**

**Chapter Seven: Evaluation**

"Hello Sara." The woman walked to Sara's bed. "I'm Doctor Casey Pearson, how are you feeling today?" Dr. Pearson shook Sara's hand and took a set next to the bed. She took note of the answer given.

"Just fine," Sara replied as the doctor focused on Sara's body language. Seeing her tense up and turn away. "Sara, I need you to talk to me. Can you tell me what happened?" She could tell trying to get through to her was going to be a difficult task. But she had seen worse, much worse. "You can tell me anything. I'm here to listen and help if I can." She didn't want to push Sara, but she had a feeling there was more under the surface.

"You can't help," Sara spoke just above a whisper. "Nobody can." She took a few deep breaths and closed her eyes. She didn't want to talk about anything. In her mind she didn't see what it would help. Talking about how she was feeling wasn't going to make time turn back and stop the accident from happening. Nor would it bring Greg back. Talking about what killed her every waking moment, as well as every sleeping moment for that matter wouldn't take her pain away, or so she thought. Sara had talked to people after her father died; after her mother continued to stab him, even though she was cuddled in the corner watching the whole thing. No, talking doesn't help.

"Why do you say that?" Dr. Pearson spoken softly. Seeing Sara shake her head, she let out a silent sigh. "I can't help you if you don't talk to me." The doctor wondered what things lurked behind her eyes. She could see sadness unlike anything she had seen before, but yet she didn't get the feeling Sara was a threat to others or herself. Dr. Pearson needed to know for sure though. She needed Sara to talk to her. "There are a lot of people who care about you. You've had a fleet of people calling to see how you are," Dr. Pearson hoped that would get a comment. But the comment that came was not what she had expected.

"Probably hoping I was dead," Sara pushed back her anger. They all treated her different when they found out Grissom and her were a couple. The relationship was great, but they had to hide it. Sara didn't want to hide it from people, she wanted to tell the world that finally they were together. She remembered the night Grissom had asked her out. She didn't know what to think at first. The case was one dead end after another. Sara got a hunch while looking over the evidence. The hunch turned out and they caught their guy. Grissom just blurted out that they should have dinner. Sara remembered standing the dumb founded. Once Grissom assured her that he meant it she said yes. She was even more shocked when he asked her out for a second date.

"Why do you say that?" Dr. Pearson felt she was starting to get to the cause of Sara's true issue or issues. Maybe she was hiding a history of child abuse. She didn't think the husband was hurting her. He loved her way to much. Just the way he was when he was around her, so loving and gentle. He wanted to know everything they did or would be doing to her. He didn't want her to hurt.

Sara felt embarrassed, when she thought about how Catherine found out about the relationship. The anger in her eyes scared Sara. Catherine should've knocked, but no, that would've been too easy for Catherine. She and Grissom should've been the ones who were furious; after all she burst into the bedroom. At least they had just finished making love to each other. Sara didn't understand why Catherine would think Grissom had a migraine. Catherine had thrown the pill bottle at them and stormed out of Grissom's townhouse, like she owned it. "They all hated the fact Grissom and I were a couple. Well, with the exception of Brass," she rang her hands. Brass had walked up to Sara after he found out. She remembered his hug and how he said how glad he was that they were together, and how he knew they would make a great couple. "Now I understand why he wanted to keep it a secret," she started to grow a bit agitated.

"There were two men about your age here as well. One of the men found you. He seemed fairly shaken up," she wondered what was the deal with the men she witnessed waiting to see Sara. She had heard one talking about a death and a car accident she was in. Wanting to know more she took a closer look at her medical records. That didn't say much about a death, she didn't figure it would so she talked to some colleges that were working that night. She slowly learned about the accident that took away the life she would ask Sara about soon.

Sara started to think about the night Nick, Warrick, and Greg found out about the relationship. She and Grissom had picked a restaurant away from the Vegas lights. They were sure that they would not run into anyone they knew there. They should have thought otherwise. They didn't see the trio sitting in the booth as they walked past. Of course they weren't looking for a familiar face or three. Grissom had held Sara's chair for her and he lent in and kissed her. They turned when they heard someone coughing and Warrick's voice. They were caught out once again. "They don't really care. They blame me for…," she trailed off.

There it was, something she could use to try and get Sara to talk about her friend who died. Knowing this may not be easy, she eased into it. Dr. Pearson didn't want to make Sara feel threatened. If she did she may never get to the core of the problem. "What is it you think they blame you for dear?" she spoke even more loving. Yet she wondered about the situation with her husband. She found it odd that Sara would call him by the last name they shared. But that is something that seemed miniscule at this point, from what she could see.

Something snapped inside Sara. She wanted it to go away. She needed someone who was not from the lab or department to tell her; to tell if it wasn't her fault. She needed to hear that. "They blame me for Greg dying. I know I should've let him drive that night, but I just had to be in control. If I would've let him drive, then he would be alive. Nobody would blame him if I was dead. They would've thrown a party. And I deserved to die. Greg isn't the first person I've killed," Sara shook her head.

Dr. Pearson had to take a mental step back. There wasn't anything in Sara's medical records about another accident. She had to wonder if anyone else knew about this or if Sara had left it lay dormant for all this time, how ever long that was. "What do you mean by that? How are you responsible for someone else's death?" She was a terrified of the answer. Maybe she had her pegged wrong. Perhaps Sara was capable of the unspeakable. Wanting to kill herself may not have been an act of desperation after all; but in fact a final act of self guilt. Then again, the way she is, it could be something innocent, something Sara sees as wrong and her fault; and it be nowhere near the truth.

"When I was, I think, five, my brother was playing hide and seek with me, and I snuck in his room and was hiding under his bed. I found a bag that I thought was dirt. Well it wasn't dirt it was weed. So I went to show my mom and…it wasn't dirt. He was grounded for a year. The first night he was ungrounded his friends threw him a party. Well, a fire broke out and he was the only one that didn't survive." The pain of that night showed through her eyes. "My dad didn't take it very well. I got in so much trouble. My dad was so angry about it and hit me over and over. He keep saying I was bad and it all my fault," she pushed the tears back down; she wasn't ready to let it all out just yet.

She watched as Sara's body trembled when she told about her brother dying. That had to be a hard time in her life, now reliving it through losing her best friend. Dr. Pearson was trained to handle hard cases. Sometimes she felt lost, these cases were the worst. She knew herself what it was like to blame oneself over something that wasn't ones fault. That was a women's world, feeling blame and guilt where it often wasn't warranted. You can try to tell and explain to them the guilt they felt was normal, but they had to come to the realization that it isn't their fault. Sometimes you has to force yourself not to feel guilty. Those times it could be hard. Dr. Pearson knew she had to try. "Does your husband know about this?" She wondered maybe he was the key to help her.

"Gris…Gil…he told you we're married? He said he wasn't ready to let the lab know about the marriage yet. He was afraid that the guys would shut me out even more than they already had. They pretended to be my friends, but they never invite me out with them anymore," she shrugged her shoulders. Her friendship with the guys meant more to her than she ever thought. When Greg died and everyone seemed to turn their backs on her, she didn't know how to react, so she didn't. Shutting down was the best thing she could do in her mind. Not opening up to them meant they couldn't get to close again. And not getting to close, they couldn't hurt her again. "When I thought Gil turned his back on me…I didn't know what else to do. I thought he, like all the others, would be happy if I died," she spoke so softly. She was finally coming to grips on what she did, and how she was feeling.

Grissom had come back and looked in Sara's room. He couldn't see who she was talking to but he knew. The woman's head blocked his view of Sara's face so reading her lips was out of the question. Plus he didn't want to know things Sara wasn't ready to tell him. He felt someone step beside him. The smell was familiar, and he refused to turn to her. "What are you doing here Catherine? You know, I don't want to know. You should leave. I don't want you to upset Sara," his voice still full of anger towards her.

"Gil I thought we were past this. I told you I was sorry for saying those things to Sara. I guess I was hurt, I had to find out about your relationship the way I did, then Greg. Gil, I was angry. I'm sorry, please Gil, forgive me," she pleaded with him. She didn't want to lose a friend, one of her best friends for that matter. She didn't know what she could say to Grissom to make things right again. "I don't know what else to say, but I'm truly sorry for the way I acted," she turned away and started to walk off. When she heard Grissom tell her that he was not the one she should apologize to, she turned back to him. "You're right Gil. Let me know when she's up for visitors," she nodded and left.

After Dr. Pearson was done speaking to Sara, she and Dr. Malison, the doctor who had been treating Sara, went and spoke with Grissom. They both agreed what Sara needed was her friends helping her through it. She also needed to see a psychologist; three sessions for the first week, two for the next and one the third week. After the third week she would be reevaluated. Sara also needed understanding from the people around her, and love. Just love her, they said. They didn't think she was a risk to do this again, but they suggested someone stay with her at all times. Grissom had thanked them and went to Sara. He hugged her and said she could leave soon, the doctors just needed to sign release forms. Grissom kissed her softly and told her how much he loved her.


	8. Chapter 8: Greg and Healing

Disclaimer: Still do know own them.

A/N: Since seven took awhile to get to you, I give you eight along with it. Thanks to my wonderful beta **Susan**.

Chapter Eight: Greg and Healing 

As Sara slept in their bed, Grissom sat in the living room talking to Brass. "I think she'll be ok, Jim. I really do. She's breaking through, you should see it. I truly believe she is too scared to cry. Going through what she's been through can't be easy. There are some things you don't know. I don't think anyone knows, but I need you to do something for me, for Sara. We need to know where her mother, Laura, is," he admitted. Brass told him he would do what he could. When Brass said he would go outside and make a call, Grissom went to check on Sara.

Grissom couldn't believe how beautiful she looked sleeping there. Her hair fell on the pillow in soft curls. He couldn't help but run his hands through it. Watching her sleep one wouldn't ever think she carried the secrets she did. Once he sat on the bed he leaned into her and placed a soft kiss on her check. "Sleep well darling, you earned it," he whispered. He smiled then pulled the blanket that draped over the bottom of the bed up and around Sara's shoulders. Walking out he quietly pulled the door closed; then went and waited for Brass to return.

Sara slowly rolled onto her back. She could sense someone in the bedroom with her. Feeling someone sit next to her she smiled angrily. Sara licked her lips. "I'm fine, Gil, just tired. Please leave me alone, I don't want to talk about it. I talked enough today, don't you think?" she spat out. She felt his hand touch her face. The touch was not Grissom's and Sara's eyes flashed open. "No, it can't be!" she managed to blurt out. Rubbing her eyes, she shook her head. 'This is just great, now I'm seeing things. Maybe I am crazy,' she thought. "Greg…but…you're dead," she stammered. Sara sat up just staring at Greg.

Greg grabbed a pillow and placed it behind Sara's back so she would be more comfortable. "Hey beautiful," he finally spoke. As he gazed at her he took her in. This wasn't the Sara he knew. In his mind he wished he could turn back time, for her. But he couldn't, so he hoped that what he had to say to her would help. Greg looked up to Sara. In the short time he got to know her she became so much to him. First of all she was a friend a good friend at that. He always knew that all he had to do was see her smile and he would be happy. She was a mentor. No matter the mistakes he made she was there pushing him along. Not once did she lose her cool with him and his thousand questions. She was a confidant. Always there to talk to about anything that was on his mind. He never got to thank her for all she did for him. Now sitting in front of him was the shattered remains for that person he once knew, and he hoped what he had to say would help her move on. "Sara," he started to say.

"Greg, I sorry. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to get you killed," she interrupted. She looked at Greg and couldn't understand how this could be happening. Greg was dead she knew that. So how could he be here now? Maybe this was some cosmic sign that things were going to be made right. Could it be? Sara knew that it really couldn't. Things like that couldn't and didn't happen. It wasn't scientifically possible, or was it? Her head began to pound from all the questions that raced in her mind. And the tears that she tried to keep down for so long finally started to rise. She could feel them start to over power her. "Greg, please take me with you. I don't deserve to be happy or to live for that matter. Please, Greg, please," she choked out. Throwing her arms around his neck a tear broke free and traveled down her cheek and onto Greg.

Greg rubbed Sara's back and held her close. "Sara, you need to stay here. You are needed here," he whispered to her. When she pulled back he looked into her glinting eyes that were wet from the tears she was now allowing to flow. He hung his head when she told him that the rest of the team did not care about her. That they wished she would be dead right along with him. And by taking her with him it would make so many people happy. Greg had tears in his eyes as she told him how they blamed her every minute, how she felt cut off by them and how she just wanted to die too.

"No, Sara listen to me, they do not want you dead. They do love you. They are just hurting right now. You'll see they will come around. Soon, I would imagine," he explained. Wiping the tears from her eyes Greg smiled at her. "The main thing is what happened wasn't your fault." He moved her head so their eyes met. "It wasn't your fault, Sara. It wasn't your fault. Please, stop blaming yourself. I don't blame you. And you will see nobody else does either," his voice was demanding. Greg placed a kiss on Sara's cheek and hugged her once more. "You were like a sister to me and I love you for that. I have to go now, okay," he gently explained. He got up from the bed as Sara hung her head. Then as tear drops fell from Sara's eyes he was gone once again.

Sara looked up and around the empty room. She didn't know what to think or even if she should tell someone about this. She was scared that they would think she was crazy after all. Maybe she would tell Grissom, but she wasn't sure. The door opening made her jump. "Gil…," she cried. Her tears increased as Grissom ran to the bed and scooped her up into his arms. She gripped onto shirt and cried loud and strong, burying her head in his shoulder. "I didn't want to do this…what…what if I can't stop…and I cry forever," she stumbled. She felt at ease to cry when she felt his arms tightening around her.

"I will hold you as long as it takes, Sara. If that means you and I have to sit here until the end of time, then so be it," he reassured her. Grissom just held on to Sara with everything he had in him. Even though when she cried it hurt him, this time it made him happy. Finally she was letting it all out. All the emptiness that reflected in her eyes was being washed away. The guilt and self blame started to be released. The Sara he fell in love with was coming back to him. Grissom looked up at the doorway and saw Brass standing there watching. He smiled at Brass and waved goodbye to him. As Sara's sobs softened he pulled away so he could look into her eyes. His hands cupped her face as he smiled at her. "Sara, my beautiful, beautiful Sara. What brought this on, huh?" he asked. "Not that I'm complaining."

Sara took a deep breath and started to tell Grissom about seeing Greg. She told him how it seemed so real; his voice, his touch, everything. It was like Greg had never died. And everything that had happened, all the pain and hurt, wasn't real. When Sara saw Greg it was like she had been pulled from the dark and murky water that kept pulling her under. It was slowly wrapping her in the cold loneliness of its depth. Now she could see the light that was healing. For the first time in awhile she felt warm and alive. Her heart did not ache when she thought about Greg. It felt good to talk about him and to remember him. She was truly healing, and she could feel it. "I know you must really think I'm crazy but I saw him. He was here, Gris…I know he was," she looked at him and pulled in her lower lip.

Grissom didn't know what to say. Maybe it was possible. In his opinion, anything that helped Sara he was more than happy to believe. "I believe you saw what you needed to. Honey, I wasn't here, and I didn't see what you did. If you say you saw Greg and he told you what you needed to hear, then I believe you," he told her. Grissom smiled at her and pulled her to his lips. Her lips were soft against his. He laughed as he pulled away from her. Sara's lips felt as good as the first time he captured them. "Hey, I have an idea. We got a call today. They finished the house, and the building inspector will go in tomorrow to look it over. If everything goes well we can sign the paper Monday morning and get the keys by the end of the week. Since we never had an engagement party or wedding reception, how about let's having a party?" he asked happily. "We all could use a bit of fun and excitement."

That night they had planned the party. Sara knew exactly what she wanted and how she wanted it. Her smile and laughter filled Grissom's heart with so much joy. They had abandoned their dinner half way through, because he couldn't stop kissing her. He still had to be careful of Sara's cast, but he knew he wasn't going to be able to stop himself. He carried her back to the bedroom and laid her on the bed. The rest of the night he made love to her and held her close to him. As the sunlight leaked into the bedroom window they fell asleep together. Intertwined with each other, Sara continued to heal. It was a new beginning for them both. Unknowingly Grissom and Sara had created something beautiful that night.


	9. Chapter 9: Gregory Evan

Disclaimer: Still do not own them.

A/N: A big thanks to Cybrokat for the great beta. Also a big thanks to everyone who have reviewed up to now, you guys were great. I hope you enjoy this last chapter just as much as you have the others.

**Chapter Nine: Gregory Evan**

The next night Sara came out of the bathroom and saw Grissom talking on the phone. He turned to her rolling his eyes while mouthing the words Catherine. "Okay Cath, let me explain to Sara and I will be there as soon as I can." Grissom switched the phone off and walked over to Sara. He couldn't believe how much better she looked. As every minute passed she started to become the women he fell in love with. He kissed her deeply. Oh how he wished he could just stand there all night and do that. "Hey I got to go to a crime scene. They have bugs and need me. Nick's on his way, he wants to talk to you and keep you company while I'm gone." Grissom kissed Sara one more time, and then went to get ready.

Sara heard a soft knock at the door. When she opened it Nick stepped in smiling at her. "Hey doll." He wrapped his arms around and held her tight. "Look what I got." He pulled away from her and opened the plastic bag he held. He walked in past her and to the kitchen placing the bag on the counter. "Why don't you put one of these movies on and I will make the popcorn." Nick pulled out the popcorn and put in the microwave. "Oh Sara, I wont burn it this time." Nick laughed as he watched Sara take a DVD to the living room.

Sara heard the microwave beep. She yelled back at Nick telling him where the bowls were. When Nick flopped down next to Sara he slid her arm around her shoulder. "You know Nick, this is not a date." She turned to him and smiled. Picking up a piece of popcorn, she threw it at his head. Laughing at his reaction, she hit play on the remote control. "So did you get the short straw? And lost so you had to come baby-sit me?" Sara turned to Nick and wondered why he was there. She was glad to see him; it was starting to feel like old times.

Taking the remote Nick shook his head at her. "No, I wanted to come. Sara, I was wrong. The things I said, the way I treated you. I didn't mean to hurt you." Nick pulled Sara into his arms. "I'm just so sorry Sara, I don't know what else to say. All I can do is hope you will forgive me and we can try to go back to how we were." He had tears in his eyes and pulled back from her. "I know I can never make it up to you but I'm willing to try." Nick saw tears fall from Sara's eyes as well. He didn't know what Sara was feeling or if she would forgive him, but he hoped she would.

"It's ok Nick." Sara smiled at him and put her head against Nick's shoulder. "This is almost like old times. All we need is Warrick on the other side of me talking about a girl he talked to in the bar, and Greg trying to hit on me." Sara fell silent for a second. "I guess those days are gone for good now, right?" Sara sighed and closed her eyes. "To gain something you must give up something. I finally got Grissom and lost Greg. In a way, I guess I lost you and Warrick." Sara thought about how life has changed so much for them all. Sara started to cry as Nick held her close.

Grissom stood behind them listening to Sara. He didn't want Sara to give up Nick and Warrick for him. Often they were better friends to her than he was. He didn't was her to feel like she gave anything up for him. He loved her, she was his wife. He wanted to see her enchanting smile every minute of everyday. Grissom wanted it to be shared with the world. He knew what he had to do, and he hoped it would bring her lots of laughter. Before he left he went and gave her a nice long kiss. "I'll be back as soon as I can." Grissom have her a few quick kisses then forced himself to leave.

After the movie finished, Nick went to put on another one, but the door bell put that idea on hold. He pulled the door open and saw Warrick standing there with Chinese take out and drinks. "Warrick, what are you doing here? Not that I'm complaining since you brought the food. It's just I thought you worked tonight." Nick stepped back and let Warrick enter. "Man Warrick, you have to see her. She's doing so much better." Nick and Warrick walked over to Sara and took a seat on either side of her.

"Okay what is the deal with you two?" Warrick started to pass out the food. "You two decide to have a movie night and don't invite your pal Warrick. That's harsh." He started to thumb through the movie selection. "Damn, these movies suck. I wish I would've have known, I would've stopped and picked some up. Speaking about picking up, you wouldn't believe the girl I tried to pick up last week." Warrick laughed when Nick and Sara rolled their eyes. "I was doing my thing when I saw her. Well from the back anyway. So I go up to her, acting all cool and that and she turns around. Would you believe who it was…It was Cath. I swear I was about ready to die." Warrick threw a drink back at each of them when they burst out laughing.

The three had so much fun that night. They all couldn't remember when they laughed so hard. Warrick talked more about him trying to pick up Catherine, and what she said to him. Nick and Sara had to wipe tears from their eyes from the story. It started to get really late but they didn't notice what time it was until Grissom walked in. Grissom told Warrick that Catherine needed him to help her with paper work back at the lab. As Warrick started to leave, Nick made a smart ass comment about Catherine needing him, witched made Sara giggle. Nick followed soon after Warrick.

Grissom sat next to Sara and just stared at her. "It's so wonderful to hear you laugh again." He caressed her cheek as he looked deep into her eyes. When Grissom saw the shine back, he thought may have been lost for good. He was slightly shocked when she lent in and gave him the sweetest kiss. "That was nice. What was it for?" He couldn't help but smile when Sara smiled at him. Grissom didn't wait for her to answer; he started the kiss her again. This time making it longer and deeper. He couldn't take it anymore, soon they were in the bedroom making love to each other again.

Sara laid in Grissom's arms. "Gil, thank you for tonight. Sending Warrick over was a wonderful gesture and I appreciated it. It was…" Sara was lost for words. She couldn't find right words to let Grissom know how much the night with the guys meant. That night it felt like nothing had changed. They all felt Greg there, though none of them said anything. "Maybe things don't have to change that much. I can have you and still have the guys as well." Sara snuggled into Grissom's chest and fell asleep.

The next couple of weeks few by fast. Grissom and Sara had signed the papers for the house and were able to start moving in a couple days later. Sara smile was almost permanently on her face. Everyday she became happier and stronger. Everything and everyone was slowly getting back normal. Well as normal as it can get for Vegas, anyway. It still seemed odd to them all though, life seeming normal through all the changes being made around them. Warrick and Catherine had taken a vacation together. It was a big step in for them. Yes, everything was changing and all for the better. Sara didn't know how much better their lives could get but she soon would.

Catherine had got back from vacation a week later and came over to talk to Sara while Grissom went to work. Sara and Catherine sat on the couch talking about how the vacation Catherine just took, and then Catherine felt she needed to clear something up. "Sara…" Catherine started only to have Sara tell her it was ok. "No, Sara, what I said and the way I treated you is not ok. There is no accusing my behavior. I was being a complete bitch about everything and I should've been more understanding to what happened. I can't imagine what you must've gone through. I only hope in time you can forgive me." She hugged Sara who was now crying.

Sara pulled away from Catherine while she dried her eyes. "No, really Cath, I understand you were hurting as well. Lets forget it happened ok?" Sara was getting frustrated with the tears still coming from her eyes for no reason. She let out a big yawn and looked to see what time it was. "Sorry, I just don't have any energy lately, must be from moving." Sara wiped her eyes once again. "I don't know what is worse, being tired or crying." Sara looked questionably at Catherine's facial expression.

"Sara, I think you might be pregnant." Catherine watched as Sara's face went white. "Let's go for a drive. We can go get a test or two and some ice cream. Every woman should have ice cream in the house." She grabbed Sara's hand and helped her to the car. An hour later they walked back into the house laughing. "Alright, you go take the test and I will get us some bowls and spoons. Catherine didn't know how long Sara was in the bathroom, but she knew it was longer time than she needed. "Sara…" Catherine knocked on the bathroom door and opened it. Sara was setting on the toilet lid looking down at the test, shaking. "Sara what is it?" Catherine took the test as Sara handed it to her.

"A baby…I don't know if I should be happy or scared." Sara started to cry once again. "Cath, I don't know how to be a mother. I didn't have a good example growing up. What if…" Sara shook her head and looked up to see Grissom at the doorway. "Cath, can you show him for me please?" Sara started to stand up. Catherine handed him the stick and walked back to the living room.

Grissom looked down at the stick in hand and then up to Sara. "You're pregnant? We're going to have a baby…" He saw her shaking as she nodded her head. "Sara…" Grissom stepped forward and held Sara. He swung her around and started to cry. "Honey, this is the best news you could've giving me." He started to kiss her as his hands touched her face. "You will be the best mom ever." Grissom gave her one more hug then went out and talked to Catherine.

Nine months later, Sara was sitting in the gliding chair singing to the baby, Gregory Evan Grissom. She felt a hand touch her shoulder. She knew who it was she didn't need to turn to him. "Hi Greg. I didn't think you could stay way." She smiled at him, and he knelt in front of her. She watched as Greg kissed the baby and rubbed his think dark hair. He told Sara how beautiful his name sake was.

"Hey little man, you take good care of your mommy for me. Make her happy everyday, she deserves it." Greg spoke softly to Gregory. Greg wished he could be there to play ball with the little boy and to teach him things Sara would without a doubt slap him for. He knew that thinking about what could've been was not worth it. When you think of that you miss out on what is. "Try not to give her too hard of a time." Greg laughed then stood up and kissed Sara on the cheek; and then he was gone.

--------THE END--------


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